I am truly dreading seeing my father today. He’s hateful, racist, mean, and the reason I tolerated an abusive relationship for years. I thought that kind of behavior was ok because of him. I’m glad I know better now and I’m glad I have John now. Seeing my father puts knots in my stomach, he parents with guilt. When things don’t go his way, he reminds you of every meal he ever provided for you and every hour he ever worked to pay for that meal. It took me a long time set boundaries with him, but once I did, my life became a much happier place. He still gets to me sometimes though, like when I see him treat my Mom like shit or how he has ruled over my sister so much, she pretty much replicated my father in her fiancee and has no control over her own life. He hurts my kids’ feelings a lot too. Today isn’t a good day for me.
"I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people, to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole."Lauren Oliver, Before I Fall (via grillfriend)
You really need to take better care of yourself. Eat better, and get a bit of exercise man!
Thank you for this brand new information. In over a decade of being sick, I wish I had thought of that.
Why is this “eat better and get exercise” idea being kept so secret? The people need to know this.
Don’t do this. I don’t care how well-intentioned you are, telling a sick person this is a punch in the gut.
You assume that being overweight is the reason I am unhealthy rather than a symptom. You don’t know what I eat. You don’t know that I’ve struggled to lose weight and gone to enormous lengths to do so. You don’t know that I was rejected for gastric bypass because my current illnesses made it too dangerous. You don’t know that every attempt I’ve made to come up with an exercise routine has caused me terrible energy hangovers and how frustrated I am that I can’t find an exercise solution. And you don’t know how frustrating it is to fight with every fiber of my being to achieve a better state of health… failing repeatedly… and then being told to take better care of myself.
I’ve probably put more effort into improving my health than you would in 20 lifetimes.
I can see hundreds of doctors, try hundreds of medications, try physical therapy, diet plans, all sorts of scary treatments and somehow end up in worse health than when I started.
You can eat a salad and do a pushup and maintain your good health with no problem.
So…why don’t you google “ableist” and relieve yourself of some ignorance.
My reply to this poor guy….
I sooo know the feeling! I have nine screws two rods and a plate in my lower back after two surgeries to correct a birth defect. I am now plagued with pain from scar tissue build up and nerve damage. I see a pain management doctor but have tried a chiropractor, acupuncture, massage therapy, injections, yoga, and everything else you can think of. It burns me up when people call me an addict or tell me maybe if I just exercised my back wouldn’t hurt so much or say things like, does your back ever NOT hurt Jennifer, when I complain it’s killing me on a rainy day! Some people just have no clue!
I am currently in two plays at church… a Good Friday Passion kind of play and one called Southern Hospitality written by the same people that did Golden Girls. I am really doing my best to get all my lines down for both. We are performing the Good Friday one first of course and I really hope I don’t insert any Southern Hospitality lines into the crucifixion of Jesus… now that would just be tacky y’all!
- Dad: hey I'm gonna go grocery shopping do you need anything?
- Me: uuuhhh....
- Me: contemplates wether or not I should ask him to get me pads since I need them desperately
- Dad: anything at all?
- Me: uh... Yeah.... Can you get me some pads
- Dad: Sure
- Me: Are you serious? Wouldn't you be embarrassed?
- Dad: Natalie, I'm a 56 year old man who has been buying pads for your mother for over 20 years. No I'm not embarrassed.
- Me: But I thought guys get squirmish when we ask them to buy this stuff for us
- Dad: boys are squirmish. Men will step out and buy you as many pads and tampons as you need. A man will understand that you cannot control your cycle and that this is a natural bodily process. So, if you ever find a guy who's too embarrassed to buy you pad just bleed on everything he owns.
- Me: OMG DAD
1. Rude people.
2. The state of Arizona.
3. Living in Texas.
4. Back pain.
5. Advocare, people that sell Advocare, people that post constantly about Advocare.
6. This cold weather.
7. That chin hair that keeps coming back.
8. My husband using my razors.
9. My excessively passive aggressive coworker.
10. My kids taking all my money and never even saying thank you.