I am truly dreading seeing my father today. He’s hateful, racist, mean, and the reason I tolerated an abusive relationship for years. I thought that kind of behavior was ok because of him. I’m glad I know better now and I’m glad I have John now. Seeing my father puts knots in my stomach, he parents with guilt. When things don’t go his way, he reminds you of every meal he ever provided for you and every hour he ever worked to pay for that meal. It took me a long time set boundaries with him, but once I did, my life became a much happier place. He still gets to me sometimes though, like when I see him treat my Mom like shit or how he has ruled over my sister so much, she pretty much replicated my father in her fiancee and has no control over her own life. He hurts my kids’ feelings a lot too. Today isn’t a good day for me.